Archive for the ‘mourning’ Category

Find Me Within

December 18, 2011

The Road Now

You sit in sadness

Your pain so great you do not feel me

You do not hear me

You see my death and cry out why

I can not tell you why

Why may never be known to you

I have left this earth but rest in your heart

I knock at your door

Forgive and heal

Forgive me and forgive yourself

Fault is not yours

Heal by knowing I am with you

I am in all that you do

I am home if you grow

Grow and I am at peace

Love me and understand

You will hear my knock upon the door

Open the door and see

I really never left you

For You are me

I am you


The Road Now


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This Way, It Is Said

August 3, 2011

The Road Now

When my grandfather died I had nobody to turn to.

 I did not cry, I was not sad and those around me called me names

I did not know what I was, I did not know what I felt.

Life later defined this day as lost, angry and confused

One week earlier I sat with the old man and listened as he spoke not the usual riddle.

He told me he was leaving this earth and I would no longer see him.

He shared two words with me, sacred words they turned out to be.

For many years these words would bring me light and guide me through the darkness.

My darkness being me, running, him leading as my wounds.

My loss was great, evidenced by the dent in my soul

Peace, Love, and Understanding I would not  find until my own son and I traveled

Into a land unknown by me since I was a young boy, together we  journeyed

The land was unkept and littered with weeds and a fading light of a marker hoping to be noticed.

There I saw his name and cleared the land as my young son watched

Anger, hurt, and disappointment ascended from the soil into the heavens

I began to understand and it was clear to me

Leaving was not something he could have controled

Yan Yak my friend in your time of grief, and forever as you walk forward

In the abundant light that you so freely share

May you find Peace, Love and Understanding

The Road Now

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Death Before Birth

October 24, 2009

The Road Now

The End Came As Death Lay In Wait…Of The Rescue That Never Came..Leaving Behind The Guilt That May Never Be understood….If  I Should  Be Given A Chance To Speak From Where I Have Been Destined. I would Scream Out, and Say…Forgiveness is yours……Move forward and Know What Happened Was Because That Which Was Did Not Have The Acceptance of  Reality. …Love Was Not Known In The Silence That Was Demanded From Those That portrait the goodness of love. The Love That Existed Only In The Pain Of  That Which Was Now Gone.

The Road Now

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Grief or Guilt

May 27, 2009
Faith in the Dark (2)

The Road Now

I see you but know not where you are

There somewhere in the darkness

Your soul weeps and you have faded

You should have

You could have

You would have

You did not

You must come forward

Out of the darkness and forgive


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In Remembrance

May 24, 2009
Johnny Botello USMC kia Vietnam (2)

The Road Now

Johnny Botello

United States Marine Corps 

KIA  Vietnam

My Brother-in-Law


The Road Now

Matthew Brown

United States Army

War Casualty


My Nephew

These are Heros in my eyes as are all that have fallen in defense of this great nations freedom.

Please take the time to remember what Memorial Day is About


Memorial Day

May 24, 2009
American Flag (2)

The Road Now

I hope that you will enjoy a parade, a BBQ, a ceremony, a friendship, and perhaps a War Story on Memorial Day 2009.

Map of The Fallen


Lest We Forget

May 21, 2009

The Road Now

Memorial Day is approaching.

Enjoy and Remember


My Soul Weeps

May 20, 2009
My Soul Weeps

The Road Now

Today deep within the walls that confine it my soul weeps. What do you do when you feel that which you can not explain. Is one friendship worth the sacrifce of ones beliefs? Looking back I would have done some things differently although I am sure this day would still come and the greatest sadness I have known would surround those I love. Today my soul weeps.




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Info Here

Alexandria Rachel Zepeda

May 11, 2009
Alexandria Rachel Zepeda (2)

The Road Now

Lost May 7th 2009


Stop Suicide





Life Without You

May 9, 2009

Alex Zepeda (2)

     Alexandria Rachel Zepeda

                1988 – 2009

        Life Without You

Oo oo now baby….tell me how have you been
We all have missed you….and the way you grin
The day is necessary….every now and then
For souls to move on….givin’ life back again, and again
Fly on fly on….fly on my friend
Go on….live again….love again

Day after day….night after night
Sittin’ here singin’ every minute….as the years go passing by….by, by, by

Long look in the mirror….we’ve come face to face
Wishin’ all the love we took for granted….love we have today

Life without you….all the love you passed my way
The angels have waited for so long….now they have their way
Take your place….

(lyrics by Stevie Ray Vaughan)

 Stop Suicide